


Powerless In The Past, Strong In The Present

by afteriwake



Series: A Thousand Suns [4]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wasn't powerless anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Powerless In The Past, Strong In The Present

  
_And it can't be outfought  
It can't be outdone  
It can't be outmatched  
It can't be outrun_   
Linkin Park, “The Catalyst”   


She had trained for hours every day. She had tried to make herself as strong as possible, to forget the helplessness she'd felt that day. She remembered the Hollow, years ago, the one that tried to control her, the one that Orihime had destroyed. Everyone else forgot, and she found out later it was Rukia's doing, but she had felt helpless, and it buried itself deep in her mind.

This time, the sense of helplessness settled on the top of her thoughts. For days, weeks, even a few months later she would picture it every time she trained, the man bearing down on her and her inability to move. She would remember the panic in her thoughts, the screaming in her head to get up up, move, run away. She would remember trying to make her legs move and not getting so much as a twitch. She was frozen solid, it seemed, and yet she was still able to breathe. And she could hear her heart thudding in her chest as she watched her killer approach.

Only she wasn't dead. Things had happened, and then he wasn't there anymore. She and Keigo and Mizurio got up, and moved, and looked on as part of one of the nearby mountains was destroyed. Only then did she feel safe, but she couldn't stop shaking. The twitch that she had yearned for had come about in tiny shivers, and it seemed like they would never end, that she would never be still.

Afterwards, when things settled again, she began her training. She added kickboxing to what she had learned to do. It was good to pound on the bag instead of a person. She could do this on her own, without anyone else around. She could imagine the man's face on the bag, superimpose his body on it, and fight back. Sometimes she would hit and kick until she was too spent to do much other than slump in the shower and let hot steam envelop her for ten, twenty minutes before getting dressed and going home. And she would feel powerful again, until she laid her head to rest and the dreams came.

Now, she didn't do it so much. She had been hired by her dojo, so she was working. For an hour or two a day, she spent time with Ishida. The feelings of helplessness had subsided, though not completely, and she had gone on with her life. But at a cost. She had made herself so busy, filled up her time so thoroughly that she had seemingly abandoned the girl...no, the young woman, because after everything she had been through Orihime Inoue was no longer a girl...that she had sworn to protect. The only time she ever really saw her was for an hour or two on nights when Tatsuki would come over to stay.

That was why, today, they were sitting on a bench eating ice cream and just catching up. This was nice, this was normal. This was what she had missed, just spending time with her friend. 

“Do you know what Kurosaki-kun is doing?”

Tatsuki sighed, just a little, and shook her head. “No clue. And it's not like he'd tell me, anyway. I'm not close to him.”

“He says he's trying to get his powers back.” She licked her ice cream. “I don't want him to.”

This cause Tatsuki to blink in surprise, and she almost lost her grip on her cone. “I thought you wanted him to be a hero.”

“I do! I just don't want him to get hurt, and...he's going to get hurt again. And I don't want that.” She paused. “And then...he turned into...”

Tatsuki nodded and placed her free hand on her friends arm. Orihime visibly calmed. Tatsuki knew what she had been talking about without her even having to finish her sentence: he had turned into a Hollow himself, though not as large or menacing. He'd still freaked her out, and even Tatsuki had freaked out a bit when Orihime had told her, and she'd never seen it. “I know.”

Orihime smiled, a smile that was shaky at first but grew firmer. “I don't want him to do that again, either.”

“He's miserable, though,” Tatsuki said.

Orihime's smile faltered. “Yes, I know.” Then she sighed, the smile disappearing completely. “He really does need his powers back, doesn't he?”

“I think he does, yeah,” Tatsuki said. She felt some ice cream drip on her hand and she licked it off before tackling her cone again. “Do you still have yours?”

She nodded. “I keep my hairpins in my pocket.”

“Good. I don't want you being without them. I worry about you.”

Orihime smiled again. “You don't need to worry about me! I can take care of myself.”

Tatsuki looked at her, then nodded back with a smile of her own. Yeah, she thought to herself, she probably could hold her own if she needed to, but I hope she doesn't have to. “I think you can.”

“See?” Orihime jumped off the bench. “Come on! We should go do something else, like go see a movie.”

Tatsuki looked at her watch. “I promised Ishida I'd go by the hospital in an hour and a half.”

“Oh,” Orihime said. “Well, I'll see you tonight, right?”

“Of course,” Tatsuki said with a nod. “Do I need to expect another late night visit from Ichigo?”

She giggled. “No. When you come over, he just goes home after he does whatever he's doing. I don't think he wants to get punched in the stomach again.”

“He shouldn't have stood so close to the couch when I was waking up,” Tatsuki said. “I already apologized. Twice.”

Orihime giggled some more, then sobered up. “Sado-kun came back to school today. I'm glad.”

Tatsuki nodded. She didn't feel the need to mention that he had talked to her, asked her if she was keeping an eye on Orihime and offering to do so when she was not around. For some reason, he wanted to protect Orihime, but that was the same thing that she wanted to do, so there was no problem in them working together. “I saw.”

“He's going to start walking me home sometimes. When you don't or Ichigo doesn't. I think it's nice that he wants to do this.” She grinned just a little brighter. “I know he wants to keep me safe, and even though I don't need it, it's nice.”

“Hey, well, we all want to keep you safe. You're important to us,” Tatsuki said.

“I know. All of you are important to me, too.” Then she took her free hand and grabbed Tatsuki's free hand. “Let's go walk around town, just look at the shops. We can get to the hospital in time for you to see Ishida-kun.”

Tatsuki laughed and let Orihime pull her along. Yes, the girl who would suggest ice cream when it was cold is just the person she needs in her life, the person who keeps her from wallowing in her thoughts, the person who makes everything brighter. She was never going to let anything happen to her if she could help it, not ever again. And by making that promise to herself, and knowing her friends would help, she felt less powerless.


End file.
